When a child has 24-7 needs, mothers bear the costs

An early photo of two of Sheila Jennings' children

By Louise Kinross

As the mom of a son who had severe asthma and a life-threatening immune condition, Sheila Jennings learned firsthand that it was impossible to work outside the home and tend to her child with complex health needs.

“My interest in the support rights of mothers of severely disabled children began after I got divorced and set up my law practice while caring for three children,” she says. “My son missed about 40 days of school in Grade 7, and a similar amount in Grade 8. He had severe infections, was followed by four clinics, and was frequently in the Emergency Room. One time I was just about to go into the courtroom, and I had a call that something was wrong at school. I called my son’s father, who is an emergency room physician, to ask if he could find out what was going on, and he said: ‘I have someone here with a screwdriver in their head.’ Even when I had a spouse, he didn’t necessarily have the ability to drop everything. I started to get sick myself in 2005, and when I became very ill, I had no choice but to close my practice.’”

Sheila recently defended her PhD thesis called The Right To Support: Severely Disabled Children And Their Mothers at Osgoode Hall Law School. “Within complex care, visible and hidden costs have been offloaded onto caregiving mothers by governments,” she writes in the study's abstract. We spoke about her research, and why she believes that the extraordinary demands currently placed on Canadian mothers of children with complex needs might constitute ‘cruel and unusual treatment or punishment’ under section 12 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

BLOOM: What was the purpose of your research?

Sheila Jennings: I wanted an answer to the question: ‘What are the legal rights to support for mothers who have severely disabled children, and what should they be?’ I thought it would be a very simple question. But it was anything but.

My project looked at literature, as well as 184 cases, which were mostly Canadian. These were cases where caregiving mothers brought law suits or defended against the actions of others. They took on the Canada Revenue Agency or social benefits, or said they needed more spousal support due to their child’s complex needs. I used cases from every jurisdiction and from an online database, so mothers can easily access them in support of their own complaints.

BLOOM: What did you find?

Sheila Jennings: It was fairly uniform that if the moms were single and unable to work, they were falling into poverty and struggling, and they were often opposed in cases they brought. There were sympathetic judges, but caregiving mothers’ support needs slid between categories in law, and often couldn’t be helped in court. There was the occasional win, which might take months or years. Litigating mothers became embattled while also providing care. Lawsuits are exhausting and stressful. And each case was usually just one win—there were hardly any systemic wins, where the court said from now on every mother who needs this support will get this amount.

One of the problems is that child support is considered for the average child. You can ask for add-ons, but the cost of respite care and basic nursing care must typically be fought for.

BLOOM: Can you describe one of the cases?

Sheila Jennings: One public law case was brought by a woman who was divorced and had a six-figure income. She had three children. She came to the Social Benefits Tribunal in Ontario to ask for funding through Assistance for Children with Severe Disabilities (ACSD). ACSD had said no, your income is over the funding cap of $60,000, so you can’t have the amount you say you need. Yet 50 per cent of her income was going to disability-related supports. 

She’s a good example of someone who had a full-time job and a big income, but it still wasn’t enough to make it manageable. The tribunal agreed that she'd made the case for the additional money, but it was on a one-off basis. Three years later, she was back in front of the tribunal when her funding application, over what was, in fact, a discretionary cap, was again refused.

I have so much admiration for these women. They’re living extraordinarily difficult situations with their children, and they’re rolling up their sleeves and taking on the government, or the other parent who doesn’t want to pay. The other parent says it’s the government’s job to pay, and the government says it’s the other parent’s job.

The system for disability supports across Canada is very fractured. It’s not a uniform system, nor can it be easily accessed. The ministries frequently shift people around and change programming. There's rarely an expert in charge with a great deal of knowledge on the file. It’s very hard to get systemic change or sustained change. Much of the work caregiving mothers do is invisible. People can be sympathetic, but they don’t realize how much work is involved and what the implications are. This is a different form of motherhood, and it needs to be supported as such.

BLOOM: I remember when my second child was born without disabilities, being absolutely shocked at how easy her care was.

Sheila Jennings: Yes. Reflecting back on when my third child, who is athletic and healthy, was born, it highlighted for me that the mothers I was studying were different. The support needed for a child who is playing soccer, has tons of friends, doesn’t get sick often and has no physical issues that land them in hospital, is not comparable.

I think professionals who are going to be working with caregiving mothers should be going into the home for two to three days, to see what’s involved. In my project I decided not to call the mothers 'complex-care moms.' I decided to use a feminist lens and use the term 'maternally complex care.' It’s a different form of motherhood.

Too often, people see a regular mom, and they see the complexity as medical- and hospital- and doctor-centred. That is treatment.

It's the mother who is providing the complex care. 

Maternal complexity, rather than medical complexity, gives status recognition to the woman who's doing the care, and Canadian research shows it’s 97 per cent women. Many have given up jobs to care for a child with additional needs. It's an important role in society that carries a price, and it doesn't come with workers' compensation, pay or a pension.

I'm interested in how these women are seen and treated in our culture. They get sympathy and sometimes pity. Or even admiration. But care of this kind is not recognized as the work it is. I’ve said before, going to court as a lawyer on a difficult file was easier, any day, than dealing with the objective and subjective maternal complex-care issues that would arise with my son. 

Caregiving mothers may be traumatized while providing care, and at the same time you’re also running the house and doing everything else women are socially assigned to do.

My research also showed that it's hard for children with complex-care needs to see their mother's exhaustion from the heavy lifting, so to speak. It's an issue for children too.

BLOOM: Did you come up with any recommendations for change?

Sheila Jennings: One recommendation I considered is the treatment of caregiving mothers in light of section 12 of the Charter, which provides that ‘Everyone has the right not to be subjected to cruel and unusual treatment or punishment.’ 

I made preliminary arguments that to have mothers alone held responsible for this care, in the manner it’s currently provided, meets a legal test to show section 12 is violated. 

Mothers’ health is being negatively affected, and not just a little bit. There’s even a study out of Australia about how mothers of complex children have much higher levels of mortality.

BLOOM: There was also a population-based study done by Dr. Eyal Cohen at SickKids that showed an increased risk of early death in mothers of children born with anomalies like heart disease or Down syndrome.

Sheila Jennings: Right. So we know this correlation is an issue. 

BLOOM: What was the typical outcome of the legal cases you analyzed?

Sheila Jennings: Overall, you can see that the mothers are embattled. For example, there was a 2004 mother with a child with progeria, which causes early and rapid onset of aging. She wanted an increase in night nursing hours, and she wanted the government to subsidize, or pay for, private nurses she had to hire when the CCAC nurses didn’t show up. She also didn’t want CCAC to send her personal support workers who didn’t understand her child’s condition.

BLOOM: I looked at the case you sent, and she also wanted registered practical nurses who did overnight shifts to be paid at the registered nurse rate to better retain them. And she wanted a back-up plan with the hospital, so that CCAC-booked shifts wouldn’t be cancelled.

Sheila Jennings: Yes. Unfortunately, she had no legal leg to stand on. The CCAC client was her child, not her. I address this issue as one of relational rights in my project. She lost her claim. It’s 15 years later, and these home-care failures haven’t gone away. We read about the same problems from parents like Marcy White and Samadhi Mora-Severino. We have another generation dealing with the exact same thing.

BLOOM: How could section 12 be used to create change?

Sheila Jennings: Lawyers and mothers doing this kind of care need to get together to list the harms they’ve experienced, and to consider what kind of legal action is possible.

For example, it’s not okay to be on call 24 hours a day, nor to have consistently interrupted sleep for years. This is way outside the gamut of modern day labour standards. A mother interviewed recently by a Montreal newspaper said ‘What kind of world do we live in, where I’m supposed to be up, day and night, providing heavy physical care?’ There isn't a union or workers' compensation to protect these women when they're injured or become ill. Caregiving mothers bear the risks. That's monstrous, and as a society we can do better.

BLOOM: You mentioned that you looked at how our culture views mothers of children with disabilities.

Sheila Jennings: Yes, I did, and it's very interesting. The special-needs mother is romanticized, and put on a pedestal, and is portrayed as having a high cultural value. You think of Princess Diana in Pakistan holding a dying child, or Princess Kate landing on the runway in Alberta, and hugging a child who had obviously been in cancer treatment.

But that runs contrary to the way that caregiving mothers, particularly those who provide maternally complex care, are treated at a provincial level. The reality is that they’re often isolated and alone. Donna Thomson’s book The Four Walls of My Freedom alluded to that. There is exclusion, not only of severely disabled children, but of their mothers too.

BLOOM: What are your next steps?

Sheila Jennings: I hope to teach again this year. I taught last year at the Ontario Tech University, and I was able to bring these issues up in my family law course and also, to a degree, in my human rights course. Students were very interested. I'm also in the midst of writing two papers and preparing a proposal for a book with an academic press.

In addition to her years practising family and child welfare law, and doing her PhD, Sheila Jennings did an MA in critical disability studies. You can follow her on Twitter @SheilaKJennings.

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'Our nursery programs are a model for social change'

By Louise Kinross

It’s a simple ritual, but one of Silvia Souto’s greatest joys. “Opening the door of the classroom at Play and Learn, and seeing the faces of the children—so happy and eager to come and play in our program—that is pure joy,” she says.

Silvia is an early childhood educator in one of Holland Bloorview's two nursery schools, which are located in the community. Play and Learn includes children with and without disabilities. Silvia first worked as a volunteer at our old hospital site in 1999, after moving to Canada from Argentina, where she was born.

In April, Silvia and Play and Learn co-worker Isabel Zatti made a trip to Macao, China, where they shared Holland Bloorview’s vision of inclusion with early learning educators from 80 countries. “Isabel and I felt the voice of inclusive programming was not heard at other conferences we'd attended. We wanted to do something about it,” Silvia says.

BLOOM: How did you get into this field?

Silvia Souto: After studying psychology and education at university, I worked in special education services in Argentina with children from infants to age five. When my husband and I came to Canada, and were trying to improve our English, my ESL teacher encouraged me to look into Bloorview. You will talk to people who have similar interests, she said, and it will help your vocabulary. I came for a visit and was accepted as a volunteer in the child life program doing bedside play.

I vividly remember the nursing station. Cara Sudoma was one of the nurses there, and she would come in and out, full of energy. Later I did an internship in the child life department, was hired at Play and Learn’s summer camp, and accepted a part-time and then full-time job. I did my equivalency and got my credentials as an early childhood educator.

BLOOM: What is a typical day like now at Play and Learn?

Silvia Souto: The day is 'go, go, go,' with no pause button. The program starts at 9, so we're there at 8:30. It’s a high-quality program, which means we need to carefully plan and prepare. We do a lot of hands-on, sensory activities and art. We want the children to express themselves and explore freely. If we see something they’re interested in, we’ll include that into the preparation for the following day. We follow the children's lead.

We take early literacy and play very seriously, so we do a guided learning circle every morning and use stories to reflect on what the children are doing in their play, and their interests. When we tell the stories, we use props to catch the children's attention. Our guided learning circle is an opportunity to learn new words, make connections between stories and play. It's an invitation to join in with peers and share the joy that comes with listening to a story. 

A typical day happens inside and outside the classroom. In addition to providing children with a rich and meaningful learning environment, we discuss and document their progress, brainstorm strategies to support their participation and learning, talk to their families, and meet with our team of therapists.

BLOOM: How many children are in a group?

Silvia Souto: I work with 10 toddlers and one other teacher. We have one group in the morning and one in the afternoon. We also have volunteers and sometimes co-op students in the classroom. We have a team of therapists who support us in the classroom. They develop a plan of intervention and we find ways we can include it within the child’s play, so it doesn’t look like therapy.

BLOOM: What’s the greatest challenge?

Silvia Souto: Compared with the challenges our families are facing, I don’t feel I have a right to say it’s challenging. I enjoy it very much. In order to support children and families I do have to take care of myself, because I need to be present constantly in my interactions. It’s a demanding job physically, and you have to be emotionally fit. Sometimes I have to remind myself about what you're told on the plane—to put the oxygen mask on yourself first.

BLOOM: Is there anything specific you do to manage stress?

Silvia Souto: We have a very tight and absolutely supportive team that I can always go to, if I need to. I know I can always count on them for guidance, or support, or for taking a break. When you trust your team in that environment, it’s easier to manage stress.

Personally, I like skating in the winter. I keep my skates in the car and sometimes I’ll stop at the local rink and do a couple of laps. The other thing I do to take myself completely out of my worries is jigsaw puzzles. If I need to concentrate on something, I’m going to open a puzzle box. There’s something I love about going from complete chaos to finding the perfect fit.

BLOOM: What’s the greatest joy of your work at Play and Learn?

Silvia Souto: The trust the parents put in us gives me an immense amount of happiness. For some of the families, our nursery school is where they leave their child for the first time. The other element is witnessing how inclusion works—seeing the interactions of the children, and thinking we are planting the seed for a more just society.

BLOOM: What qualities do you need to be successful in your role?

Silvia Souto: Energy, definitely. It’s a physical kind of job. You need to be someone who can connect, who can be trusted to develop meaningful relationships with the children and their families. You need to have a solid knowledge of child development. You have to understand children in the context of their families. You need to have a playful soul, to think as a child, and to be creative.

BLOOM: How do you get your energy?

Silvia Souto: At the end of the day, I like to say I’m enthusiastically exhausted.

BLOOM: Recently you and Isabel Zatti, Play and Learn’s site facilitator, went to speak at a conference in Macao, China. Can you explain?

Silvia Souto: Isabel and I went to the World Forum on Early Care and Education, which is a global exchange of ideas on how to develop high quality programs in early childhood. This year there were almost 800 people from 80 countries.

Isabel and I felt the voice of inclusive programming was not heard at other conferences we’d attended. We wanted to do something about it. This was the perfect venue, because with so many people, our voices could be amplified.

BLOOM: What was your workshop about?

Silvia Souto: We presented on a panel on inclusion, from infancy to adulthood. We presented with educators from South Africa and India and Hong Kong. We talked about how Holland Bloorview is a hospital, and within the hospital we have early learning programs like the nursery schools. We took some of the messages from our Dear Everybody campaign, and showed how we embed these messages into the work we do. For example, ‘If we can’t include everyone in a game, we’re not playing it right.’ We gave examples of how we adapt activities and toys to make sure all children can participate.

BLOOM: How did people respond?

Silvia Souto: They were fascinated that a hospital had a community nursery program within it, and that early childhood educators could work in a hospital. They hadn’t seen that before.

We made connections with a lot of people. We feel our nursery programs are a model for social change, and we have to invest in those formative years to build a more inclusive society. We wanted to spread the idea that if we support children in developing an acceptance that we’re all diverse, and do it at an early age, it’s much easier than trying to change behaviour later on. The interactions that happen in our programs are so natural.

BLOOM: If there was one thing you could change in children’s rehab, what would it be?

Silvia Souto: I think inclusive community programs like the ones we have are key. Play and Learn is unique in that we have a lot of support. We have access to training, to other professionals, and we work as a team. But that doesn’t happen in schools, or even in other childcare centres that are working towards inclusion. They may have resource consultants, but I'd like to see a much higher level of support in daycares and schools.

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In nursing 'everything good comes from the heart'

By Louise Kinross

Shevonne Thatham is a registered practical nurse at Holland Bloorview working with children who have complex disabilities and use ventilators to breathe. She just won the DAISY award, which recognizes a nurse that uses a strengths-based approach and combines top-notch clinical skills with deep connections with children and families. “Families like my realness,” Shevonne says. “A lot of people say I’m the Oprah on the unit, because people open up to me. I’m able to make them feel welcome and warm.” 

BLOOM: How did you get into this field?

Shevonne Thatham: I never had a thought about working in pediatrics until I did my consolidating year on a student placement here. I knew I wanted to be on a respiratory unit, and I landed here, and the kids just captured my heart. Often there weren’t parents at the bedside, and there was a sense of urgency, that these children needed care, love and compassion. This is my calling.

BLOOM: How did you choose nursing?

Shevonne Thatham: I was inspired by my mom. My mom is a practical nurse working in geriatrics. I used to go with my dad to pick her up on evenings, and we would go a little early so she could introduce me to her clients. I was always that caring person that wanted to help out. I was a little kid listening to their stories about how they got there. That sparked a flame inside me that never faded.

BLOOM: What’s a typical day—or night—like for you?

Shevonne Thatham: I do rotating shifts. I like nights because you’re the nurse, the respiratory therapist and the doctor—you do it all. The clients I work with require total care. In the morning, we prepare their meds, administer their feeds, and get them up in their chairs. They may wear devices like ankle-foot orthoses. I’m their hands, their feet, their eyes, their ears. Then, I’m with a child for the day, whether they go to therapies, school or off-site. They’re complex, so I support any medical needs they have. I’m their medical parent. For children who have a tracheotomy, they may need a suction to maintain their airway. I ensure their [feeding] tubes are running. 

BLOOM: What is it like working with this population?

Shevonne Thatham: It’s about empowering the families and giving them that hope and courage that their child will make it home. Some of these kids were diagnosed at birth, so it was life changing for their parents. It’s giving them that hope that everything is okay, despite their differences. You can still have a life and a family.

BLOOM: You must develop very deep connections with these kids.

Shevonne Thatham: Yes. They can’t communicate with me, because many of them are non-verbal. But I know exactly what’s going on with them. Non-verbal communication is key, and learning to read them—whether it’s an elevated heart rate or a grimace in their face.

BLOOM: What’s most challenging about this work?

Shevonne Thatham: Advocating for someone who is non-verbal. Every child is different. We’re at the bedside and we’re the first level of contact with these kids. Sometimes it’s hard for physicians, who are more focused on the medical, to understand something may be about comfort. When I advocate, it’s not what I want, it’s what the client needs.

Another challenge is that when the family comes to Holland Bloorview, the parents are in that grieving stage. They’re dealing with a lot of anger and emotions. With families, sometimes I need to be a social worker, which is not my field. I need to think about how I say what I need to say in the appropriate way, that is caring and compassionate as well. Sometimes it’s sitting with parents and if they’re crying, I’m crying.

BLOOM: What are the joys?

Shevonne Thatham: There’s so much. Doing what I love to do. Seeing a smile on a child’s face or parents saying thank you. Knowing that I’ve made a difference or that I’m helping to better their chances of going home quickly. Advocating. Teaching families and teaching clients who are able to do their own self-care. Aiding in their everyday life.

BLOOM: What emotions come with the job?

Shevonne Thatham: Frustration. It’s hard to understand, sometimes, what is going on with a client. Happiness. Moments of happiness. Moments of anger, because why? You just think ‘Why is this happening to these families?’ Being able to be a person in their lives, so when the family comes back here later for respite, the child remembers you, and you know you left an imprint in their life.

BLOOM: How do you manage those emotions?

Shevonne Thatham: I’m a spiritual person, so I would pray for my families and for myself. I bring everything to God. I also use music, driving home, to debrief.

BLOOM: What have you learned from families?

Shevonne Thatham: They’re taking on a new job that they’ve not signed up for, or gone to school for. And in the end, they’re able to be the parent, the nurse and the doctor for their own child. Families have taught me that they’re strong people.

BLOOM: If you had to give yourself advice on your first day, from where you sit now, what would you say?

Shevonne Thatham: Put your heart into it. Everything good comes from the heart. If this is where you want to be, show it, and it will manifest a beautiful outcome.

BLOOM: If you could change one thing about children’s rehab, what would it be?

Shevonne Thatham: I think we’re going in the right direction, and since I got here there are more opportunities for kids who have a trache to do normal daily activities. I’d like it if we had a really shallow end in our pool, because despite having a trache, a lot of our kids want to be in the pool. It would be great if we had some sort of protection for the trache, so that they could go in the water. 

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Pushing a tube down your nose hurts. Lorry knows firsthand

By Louise Kinross

Lorry Chen has a passion for promoting access to healthy food. “I wanted to solve world hunger,” she recalls of her time in dietetic school at Western University. For 28 years, she’s been a clinical dietitian at Holland Bloorview, initially working at our Bloorview site. She now works with our brain injury and orthopedic and developmental units, as well as in an outpatient nutrition clinic. We spoke about how she chose her career, and an instrumental preceptor at the Hospital for Sick Children who had Lorry put in her own nasogastric feeding (NG) tube, so that she’d understand what it felt like for patients.

BLOOM: How did you get into this field?

Lorry Chen: We emigrated as a family from Hong Kong when I was 12. Our aunt sponsored us. My parents wanted to come to Canada to have a better life for their children. At that time, in Hong Kong we were required to speak Cantonese or Mandarin. I had no English. Before we boarded the plane my aunt told us 'You need two phrases: Excuse me and thank you. That way you’ll be able to get out of your seat to go to the bathroom.'

Throughout school, English was my weakest subject. My guidance counsellors in both elementary and high school said I don’t think you should aim for university. Luckily, I hung around with great people, and all of my friends were aiming for university and said I should try for it. I was the first one of my siblings to go. I initially took science.

That was when I wanted to solve world hunger. I loved nutrition and thought I could go into the lab and make a super plant. That’s all good in theory, but there were two problems. One, I had a black thumb. And two, undergrad experiments often involved animal models, and I have a phobia about rats and mice. At about this time I met my future husband and he said ‘You’re interested in nutrition, why don’t you look into dietitian school?’

BLOOM: How did you move from your training to working with children?

Lorry Chen: After a four-year degree, you have to apply for an internship, or you can’t become a registered dietitian. I did my internship at SickKids and I loved it.

BLOOM: Why?

Lorry Chen: I learned so much. The dietitians there were so dynamic. My first clinical rotation was in cystic fibrosis. I had two lovely patients who made me reindeer and Santa magnets when they were doing crafts. I was at SickKids when they discovered the cystic fibrosis gene. Talk about being in the epicentre of discovery! And that spawned my passion for research.

BLOOM: What did you do after SickKids?

Lorry Chen: The internship was for a year. After that I got married and then I typed and hand-delivered resumés to all of the hospitals in Toronto. I had to take the bus everywhere. I applied to North York General and a friend of mine said Bloorview is just down the street, you can walk there from North York. So I dropped off my resumé and voila—I got an interview and the HR person hired me right after. I’ve been here ever since. 

BLOOM: What is a typical day like?

Lorry Chen: It’s changed so much from 1990 to now. In 1990, I might have one or two patients who were on g-tubes. There were no NG tubes. Now, at any time, I will have five to 10 patients who are on g-tubes or NG tubes. The complexity of our children has increased. Most of my patients have a tube through their nose.

BLOOM: I’ve heard that those nose tubes are extremely painful to put in.

Lorry Chen: When I was doing my cystic fibrosis rotation at SickKids, the dietitian felt we needed to experience what it was like to place one, so that we could have empathy.

BLOOM: That is so smart! Did you put them in for each other, or on yourself?

Lorry Chen: We did it ourselves. It was so hard. I thought I was going to gag and throw up in front of my preceptor and everyone else. That’s why I can relate to an adolescent who needs an NG tube. I’ve put one in myself. Also, before I recommend any kind of feed, I taste it myself and I have my students taste it.

BLOOM: So feeds kids would get by tube?

Lorry Chen: Yes, because sometimes you burp, and then you will taste it. I want to be able to tell them if it’s not the most pleasant taste.

BLOOM: What’s the greatest joy of your job?

Lorry Chen: Taking the NG tubes out! Last week I had two come out. It was the best week ever. The patients and the parents were over the moon. It was a gold-star day.

BLOOM: Besides your work with tube feeding, what other type of work do you do?

Lorry Chen: We’re big on the clinical practice guidelines on bone health. Often I’m asked to make sure if a patient is at risk—especially if they have a spinal-cord injury—that they have appropriate calcium and vitamin D intake. Another part of the job is working with children who are too skinny or too heavy.

BLOOM: I was on a panel at a Food Summit on Monday, and it was for food centre staff who work with people who can’t afford to eat at all, or to eat well. It got me thinking about our families, who are often strapped financially with all of the extra costs of raising a child with a disability. Is that an issue for inpatient families you work with?

Lorry Chen: Oh yes. Patricia Rebia, the clinical assistant in our nutrition clinic, and I have been chatting about applying to the No Boundaries fund to provide tools to families about how to eat nutritiously on a very tight budget.

BLOOM: Perhaps we could also develop a partnership with a food centre locally, or with our foundation. What is the greatest challenge of your work?

Lorry Chen: When you work, and put in your best intentions with a client, but things aren’t going the way you envisioned. For example, if a child has a huge food aversion and he’s not eating.

BLOOM: When my son was an inpatient here, he went on a hunger strike. He was in a body cast and was taking so many meds and was in pain. So he refused to eat.

Lorry Chen: Literally, there are clients that go on hunger strikes. Luckily we can give them an NG tube that provides nutrition, but we want a happy balance with oral intake. Sodexo as a group have been very responsive to some of the food requests we’ve made. Sometimes I’ve brought in some of my kids’ toys from home, if a child responds well to positive reinforcement with toys.

One thing I do communicate with caregivers, when a child won’t eat, is that ‘He’s the captain of the ship. We’re just passengers. We have to let him lead.’ Choosing whether to eat is one of the only things children have control of in hospital.

BLOOM: That’s right. What emotions come with the job?

Lorry Chen: The two extremes. Wonderful joy—when I got to take out two NG tubes last week, I was dancing down the hallway. Stress—when you’re grappling with what can I do to help a child, because the things you’re trying aren’t working. 

BLOOM: How do you manage stress?

Lorry Chen: I’m an exercise fiend. I’m at the gym at 5:30 in the morning. My husband and I go. He kicks me out of bed. We go to a cycle-fit class. Then I take a shower and come to work. On the weekend I do yoga. Exercise, absolutely, is my stress relief.

BLOOM: What kind of qualities does someone need in your role?

Lorry Chen: As dietitians, we tend to be very precise—sometimes too precise. I’ve learned that a little flexibility is a good thing. Sometimes, when there’s an emergency, you have to come up with a solution that may not be ideal, or might have flaws to it, but you do the best you can with a solution, while mitigating all the risks.

BLOOM: You must be good at explaining things.

Lorry Chen: The car is a great analogy for the body. Everyone knows how a car works, so they understand that food is like fuel for your body. When kids say they don’t like breakfast, I tell them to think about how their engine has been idling all night, and when you put your foot on the gas, but the tank is empty, you stall. I tell them breakfast can be different things to different people. It could just be a glass of milk, or a piece of toast.

BLOOM: If you could change something in children’s rehab, what would it be?

Lorry Chen: Always the resources available to our families. Here I think we’re well supported, but in the community, I often find that there’s not enough. I wish there was a barometer that I could use to assess how much support a family needs, and then be able to give it to them.

BLOOM: If you had to give yourself advice on your first day, but from where you stand now, what would you say?

Lorry Chen: Two words: patience and flexibility.

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When parent hopes and rehab truths clash

By Louise Kinross

Sarah Davidson is an occupational therapist at Holland Bloorview. For 14 years she’s worked with children with complex medical needs who are hospitalized here after painful surgeries or life-changing illness or trauma. Of course, that also means working with their parents. She worked with my son when he was an inpatient. We talked about what it’s like to work with families who are under enormous emotional stress.

BLOOM: How did you get into this field?

Sarah Davidson: I always knew I wanted to work in healthcare. When I finished my undergrad degree, I took four years off and explored different professions. I looked at nursing, medicine and physio and occupational therapy, and OT was what worked out for me. At the time I worked at SickKids in an administrative role. I’ve always wanted to work with kids and once I finished school I waited to start my first job as an OT at Holland Bloorview so that I could find a job that fit with my interests. 

BLOOM: What is a typical day like now?

Sarah Davidson: A lot of the OTs start early. We’re here at 7:30 a.m. That way if a child is learning how to get dressed in a different way, we can assess them and try to help them become more independent. We see a lot of inpatients for active therapy, so we book sessions throughout the day. It could be to work on strengthening their arms, being able to sit while they play and finding ways for them to self-feed. Our main goal is to help kids to be as independent as they can be.

Equipment is a big part of what we do—trying out equipment to toilet, or to be able to have a shower or bath. We do a lot of wheelchair prescriptions and prepare families to go home. It could be talking to a family about how to transport their child with a ventilator.

BLOOM: What’s the greatest joy of the job?

Sarah Davidson: I think, like everyone who works here, we love coming and seeing the children and the families. I love seeing kids make changes and be able to go home with their families, because it’s difficult to be in hospital. I also really love learning about the experiences of the different families I work with and where they come from.

A huge part of my love of this place is the team I work with. I’m surrounded by people who support me and who I can learn from. They’re there when you're not sure what to do, or have a difficult situation. They bring treats. They make you laugh. They know about your life outside of Bloorview, so they know a lot about you as a professional and as a person.

BLOOM: What is the greatest challenge?

Sarah Davidson: One of the greatest challenges for me is balancing a family’s hope for their child’s recovery with my own understanding of what their recovery will look like. We may know, deep down in our hearts, that a child is not going to do some of the things they did before.

I’m thinking about what the family will need to do to get home. Will they need to change how their home is set up? Or move to a different house? Or make decisions about wheelchairs and equipment that they never anticipated their child needing?

We’re at a place where we’re ready to have these conversations, but families often aren’t ready.

The wheelchair conversation is the hardest. 

BLOOM: I know Barbara Gibson has done research about how our culture places so much value on walking.

Sarah Davidson: Sometimes Holland Bloorview is the parents’ first exposure to disability. Their child may have gone through something traumatic and lost a lot of their abilities. And the parents are still grieving and in crisis. Sometimes needing to make significant decisions that will impact their child’s future is just too much. 

BLOOM: It sounds like it’s an emotional process that you can’t rush. On the other hand, you must feel pressure to make sure they have what they need when they go home.

Sarah Davidson: The time they’re here isn’t indefinite, and it’s a window during which we can help support them. The fact that they will need to be discharged is a pressure.

What I’ve learned, after being here for so long, is that some families won’t be ready to make those big decisions while they’re inpatients, and that’s okay. Sometimes they need to go home and live their new reality first.

BLOOM: What kind of emotions come up for you around difficult conversations with families?

Sarah Davidson: Sometimes I get nervous. I can also feel sad when I put myself in the family’s situation—they have to think about things they never thought they would think about.

BLOOM: Do families sometimes lash out at you?

Sarah Davidson: When the family’s stress level is high, it can be directed onto staff. Parents may say hurtful things. I don’t think families realize that we take their situations home with us. I try not to take things personally, but it can be very difficult at times.

BLOOM: As a parent I didn’t think about how it felt to be on the staff side of hard conversations until I heard a therapist here describe it. Is there anything you do to support yourself?

Sarah Davidson: We use our team to help deliver a consistent message. That may be during a family team meeting, or by pulling together a smaller team. So the physio and I may meet with the family together. If the physio has been working on walking, having us both there to make suggestions is helpful.

BLOOM: What do you do to manage your own stress?

Sarah Davidson: I do my best to take my lunches and take advantage of what’s offered at Holland Bloorview. I go swimming at lunch or participate in the weekly mindfulness session. I also participated in the mindful self-compassion group last fall. I go for a walk or come and read in the library. It’s easy to get stuck at your desk working through lunch but when I do, I’m exhausted at the end of the day. Then I’m not really there for my own family.

BLOOM: What qualities are important in your role?

Sarah Davidson: Being able to listen to what families want and need. Even if you’ve done something a few times with clients with the same diagnosis, every family needs something different. Being patient, and realizing you will have to say the information over and over again, in different ways, for families to hear and understand it. Being able to have empathy and compassion for what they’re going through.

BLOOM: What about creativity?

Sarah Davidson: That goes with knowing every family is different. Sometimes you’ll plan for a session but it doesn’t go as you thought it would, and you need to think on the spot to try something different. For the older kids, you can negotiate things, because they understand that you’re trying to help them. But for the younger kids, you have to make what they need to do appear fun.

BLOOM: If you could change one thing in children’s rehab, what would it be?

Sarah Davidson: I think better access to services and resources when families leave here. Our families are fearful and worried about finding community nursing to support kids who have tracheotomies and ventilators. Respite services are limited and families are burning out. Even in a big city like Toronto, the home nursing isn’t there to support families.

Funding is another big area of need. A lot of the equipment is very expensive. We also need better access to therapy services in the community. There’s some, but not always the frequency that is needed.

BLOOM: If you had to give advice to yourself on your first day, from where you stand now, what would you say?

Sarah Davidson: It’s okay not to know everything. You’ll never know everything, and you’ll continue to learn from your colleagues and from every family you work with. When we’re honest with families that we don’t know everything—that we’re not sure about what the best solution is—it makes it easier to partner with them and get their input.

BLOOM: Because we can’t necessarily ‘solve’ things in a traditional sense for many of the kids and families we work with.

Sarah Davidson: Sometimes you can’t change what is. Sometimes you can’t make it better.

BLOOM: If you could change something about our workplace, what would it be?

Sarah Davidson: Recognizing that staff are under an incredible amount of stress. They’re dealing with an ever-increasing complexity of clients and families, and it’s important to offer supports.

For example, I felt valued that we were allowed to take the eight-week mindful self-compassion course. It was a significant amount of time out of our work week that enabled me to connect with clinicians, not just in my program, but across the organization. I got to hear their stories and learn how to better take care of myself.

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New parent sleeper chairs make hospital stays more restful

Holland Bloorview family leader Lies Ferriman was one of a group of parents who tested out the chairs, which pull into beds, at the factory. She remembers sleeping on a narrow cot with pointy springs when her son was hospitalized at our old Bloorview site.

By Louise Kinross

Seventy-five new sleeper chairs for parents staying at their child’s bedside at Holland Bloorview are being purchased thanks to dollars raised by our recent Capes for Kids campaign and the Leaside Block Party.

The first 50 chairs, at a cost of over $80,000, are on site, and the remaining 25 will be ordered in April.

The chairs, which pull out into beds, were factory tested by parents before a selection was made.

“I couldn’t get comfortable when I slept on the cots at the old Bloorview site,” says Lies Ferriman, a parent whose son was hospitalized with a brain injury. “And the more recent red chairs we had were just as narrow.”

There was also a fold in the red chairs that jabbed into your back. “It was awful,” Lies says. “When you aren’t able to sleep in this situation, it creates such a weariness.” Over the years, parent complaints about sleepless nights piled up.

The new sleeper chairs are much wider and longer than the old ones, with good back support and softer material. “Every patient bed will have one,” said Irene Simpson, operations manager for two of our hospital units.

The grant submission for the new chairs was written by family leader Cheryl Peters and Aman Sium, director of Client and Family Integrated Care. It included an appendix with quotes from parents about how lack of sleep made it difficult for them to cope. “The emotional fatigue…can be crippling, and then add the physical fatigue from a poor night’s sleep,” wrote one. “If more comfortable sleeper beds were available, better rested caregivers might lead to less stress on the unit. Fatigue can lead to poor listening and decision-making skills.”

Holland Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Foundation is still fundraising for some of the beds.

In addition, Capital One purchased relaxation kits for each family, and worked with our foundation to assemble them.

The kits include a pillow, sheet set, eye mask, ear plugs and other items designed to make parents comfortable.

Much sweeter dreams are on the way.

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'I love it if someone needs help and I can help'

By Louise Kinross

If you're a parent staying at Holland Bloorview with your child, chances are you know Berthe Nabico. Berthe has been a housekeeper here for 30 years, and her ready smile and willingness to sit and chat with parents and kids makes the hospital feel more like home. Berthe speaks four languages, which comes in handy for some of our clients, and she's a master seamstress who adapts clothes for children with disabilities and in casts. In Holland Bloorview's accommodations for families, Berthe has sewn playpen mattresses, recovered furniture upholstery and made all kinds of positioning cushions. Her day begins at 6 a.m., when she puts in three to four hours at her sewing machines at home, before coming to her job here. In addition to adapted products, she makes all kinds of bedding, pillows and window coverings at Berta Beds. We spoke about her long history at Holland Bloorview.

BLOOM: How did you get into the field of housekeeping here?

Berthe Nabico: Thirty years ago I came from France. My husband was looking for a job, and somebody told him that Bloorview was hiring. I went with him to apply and we were told 'No, it's not for a man. It's for a lady.' At that time, there were jobs for men and jobs for ladies.

My husband said maybe I should ask about the job for me. I had been cleaning houses and all of the people I worked for loved me, and I loved them, too. But my husband said it's better for you to have a steady job. I thought he's right, so I asked for me. I got an interview with Mrs. Parker, and she asked me a few questions. I didn't have any English then, so I was trying to use sign language.

She said we'll send you a letter if you're not going to get the job, and we'll call you if you have the job. 

When I arrived home my phone was ringing. I took the phone, and it was Mrs. Parker, asking if I wanted to start the next day at 8 a.m., and I said yes. That was April 11, 1989.

BLOOM: What made you stay all these years?

Berthe Nabico: To tell you the truth, when I started, there was a 17-year-old boy who was a patient. The nurses told me 'If you see his door closed, don't go in the room,' so I always respected that. But one day the nurses were at the nursing station and I was cleaning another room and I heard this boy crying. Sobbing. I said 'I don't care what the nurses tell me, I can go inside this room because the boy is crying.'

I opened the door, and the boy's g-tube was wrapped tight around his neck. I screamed and said 'Come here, this boy needs help!' The parents were very happy and said I had saved their son's life. When their son went home, they asked me to go and work at their house every day. I said no, my place is here. Something inside me told me 'I think this is the right place for me to be.' 

BLOOM: Wow! What is a typical day like for you now?

Berthe Nabico: I'm working in the accommodations for families. It's a place I love. So many people, when they come, they're in a lot of stress. I let them sit, and every day I'm asking 'How is your son today?' or 'How is your day going?' I encourage them, and when they leave they wrap me [in a hug] and want to stay friends with me. I have many friends from work on my Facebook. 

I clean 10 rooms every day, and also do some cleaning in other areas. In the rooms I make beds and do everything perfect. 

BLOOM: What is the greatest joy of your work?

Berthe Nabico: I love it if someone needs help and I can help, and after I like to see their smile, or they thank me for helping them. 

BLOOM: What is the greatest challenge?

Berthe Nabico: At the end of the day I'm tired. It's very physical work.

BLOOM: What kind of emotions come with the job?

Berthe Nabico: I feel sad when I see suffering, and sometimes I like to teach people how to survive, how to do this better.

I remember one family arrived and the husband came in the room and said 'It's very hot. Do something!' I said 'Okay, I can open the window,' and I did. Half an hour later, he comes back and says 'Now it's cold.' I could see it wasn't him, it was his nerves. So I sit with him, and I touch him, and I say 'Can you say please, or give me a little smile?' A few days after he came to me and [hugged] me and said 'Thank you so much for understanding how we were feeling.' 

It's things like that. We have to see how people are feeling inside, and give them what they need.

I had a family and the first day they came, the mother told me that for two months she was in stress, because she was afraid the room here would be dirty and very ugly. She even brought cleaning supplies. When she arrived, the floor was spotless and everything was clean, and she was so impressed and said 'Everything is perfect.' After that she bought me a coffee and asked if we could be friends.

Sometimes I feel stress, but I calm down. 

BLOOM: Does anything help you manage stress?

Berthe Nabico: It helps me when I'm sewing, especially when I'm doing something new. Sometimes if a child here has a cast and it's very hard to pull on their pants, I will adapt their clothes so the parent can open and close them with Velcro. Creating something like that takes out my stress.

BLOOM: What kind of qualities are important in your job?

Berthe Nabico: You have to be polite, always with your smile. And if you have problems, don't show the people your problems. Make sure you are doing a good job. I'm very picky. 

BLOOM: What have you learned from families?

Berthe Nabico: Everyday I learn with them and they learn with me. Everyone is different. Every situation is different. All these years I've learned how to handle different families and help them. It's the same with the kids. I have so many stories you could write a book.

BLOOM: How do you compare the care we provide now, with the care we provided when you first began?

Berthe Nabico: Now we have kids with more complicated medical problems. More therapists are involved and I think it's good. Patients are better supported by a whole team of people. The other change is that when I began, children lived here permanently. 

BLOOM: You told me that many families abandoned their children at the old site.

Berthe Nabico: Yes, they did. But we also had some amazing parents. I remember when Emily Chan was a little baby. Every day, we were expecting her to pass away, but her parents were amazing.

Two months ago I was at an event in the cafeteria and I saw Emily, who is now working here, drinking a glass of wine. I went to her and gave her a hug and said 'Emily, you make me so happy. You make my day today.'

BLOOM: That's an incredible story! I remember Emily racing down the halls in her electric chair to go to the MacMillan site school.  She was part of our integrated kindergarten. Is there anything we could change to make our care better?

Berthe Nabico: I think they're doing a good job. Something that is very important is the summer camp.

BLOOM: Spiral Garden?

Berthe Nabico: Yes. The garden is very, very important for the inpatients. Think about if you were in your room, sick, and you don't have anyone to talk to. The volunteers come and talk to these kids, and when they are out in the garden, they're distracted, and they forget they are sick.

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'I wanted to make sure this didn't happen to another kid'

By Louise Kinross

Laura Oxenham-Murphy is the interim director of Quality, Safety and Performance at Holland Bloorview. Laura first thought about improving hospital care when she was a child. That's because at age eight, she was on the receiving end of a medical error. "It ended up having a huge impact on my life," Laura says. We spoke about how this experience spurred her career.

BLOOM: Can you tell us more about your story?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: When I was eight I was scheduled to have a routine surgery to remove three child teeth. That was that, and I was supposed to go on my merry way. But the surgeon that was operating on me had the wrong patient chart. He ended up doing a procedure that was completely incorrect and removing three adult teeth.

It meant three or four follow-up surgeries that I wouldn't have had to have. And quarterly visits to a specialist, who lived over an hour from my house, from age eight to 18. What was most significant was that the incorrect surgery was visibly obvious for many years. For all of junior high I was missing teeth. It wasn't pleasant.

BLOOM: Why did you have to have the follow-up surgeries?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: They removed enough adult teeth that the bone disintegrated, or stopped growing, so when I was old enough to have a permanent implant put in, the bone structure wasn't there. I had to have bone grafts and the recovery from that involved missing a lot of school. Then I had to have surgeries for permanent implants. It was painful. And none of this had to happen.

BLOOM: How did you initially cope?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: Even as an eight-year-old you're concerned with what will people say, or what will people think at school? I'm going to look a bit different from other people. At eight, I didn't really understand why this happened. Why did he make the mistake?

When I went back to follow up with a different specialist, even as a child I could recognize that he was trying to cover up what happened and minimizing it. 'Well, you might have had to have these teeth taken out anyway' was the argument he got into with my mom. I piped up: 'No, I specifically remember I was told it would only be my baby teeth and it wouldn't have affected my adult teeth.'

BLOOM: How did that experience lead you into quality?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: From a young age I wanted to make sure this didn't happen to another kid. At first I thought that meant going into clinical practice.

But my mom is a health-care practitioner and she said if you really want to make change at a system level, you should consider doing a master's in health administration and work in an administrative and leadership capacity. That spurred me into taking a pretty non-traditional route into the role I have today. I went straight into the administrative role, as per my mom's coaching.

BLOOM: Has not having a clinical background been challenging?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: It can be, and certainly comes up from time to time, primarily in job interviews and when I meet new colleagues for the first time. However, I think I'm able to bring a different lens and ask different questions.

That said, when working on quality and safety improvement projects I make sure to have a strong team that always includes clinicians.

I don't regret the path I've chosen. When I got into my master's and was able to take a couple of elective courses in quality improvement, that's where it hit me. Yes, yes, this is what I've been thinking about since I was 10 years old!

BLOOM: What is a typical day here like?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: Oh boy. You may have a plan for what you hope to accomplish, which are mostly projects at a strategic level. But then incidents, complaints or concerns come up, and most often those are things that require immediate attention, so your plan for the day gets derailed. I manage urgent risk cases as they come to me, or privacy concerns.

I work closely with the people on my Quality, Safety and Performance team, as well as others across the hospital. We're a very close-knit QSP team, so to meet deadlines and get the work done, I rely on my colleagues. It's a very dedicated team and I'm proud to be part of it.

I spend a lot of time in meetings, and work with my counterparts in other hospitals to further the quality agenda at a system level. We share resources and best practices we can take back to our own organization.

BLOOM: What's the greatest challenge of the job?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: The unpredictability. Some days you might have nothing out of the ordinary, and you're able to get into a good flow on some of our projects and initiatives. Other days, one thing after another happens and you're not able to open your e-mail till 5 p.m.

BLOOM: How do you manage stress?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: I wake up at 5:30 every morning and exercise. We have a bare-bones home gym/yoga studio and my husband and I are both very committed to getting each other out of bed. We go down to the gym or if the weather permits, we go for a run. It's the only time we get to spend together on weekdays as our jobs pull us in different directions in the evenings.

I wouldn't be able to do what I do here without that. We'll exercise for 45 minutes to an hour, then spend time together eating a solid breakfast of oats, coffee and some fruit. I find it really grounds me. And we try as much as possible not to talk about work.

BLOOM: What's the greatest joy of your job here?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: I love when there's been a risk issue and I'm able to interact with clients and families, as well as front-line staff, and we're able to come to a resolution, or even to see small differences, that shift the relationship to a more positive one.

I love bringing together passionate people—clinicians, leaders, clients and families—to work collaboratively on a particular quality improvement initiative, and supporting their capability and commitment. We are so fortunate as a hospital to have such a highly engaged group of clinical and non-clinical staff, and I see my role as enabling our staff in their commitment to quality and safety.

BLOOM: What's an example?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: One of the things I'm most proud of is our recent success with our last Accreditation cycle. It's not about the exceptional results we received from the surveyors. What I'm really proud of is playing a role in having our clinicians, leaders and clients and families partner together more closely on quality and safety.

BLOOM: How often do you work with parents and kids?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: On a weekly, even daily, basis. When I'm wearing my risk and privacy hat I'm dealing with clients and families. In the quality world, I'm interacting with family and youth leaders. Interacting with our clients and families is truly one of my favourite parts of the job, and really helps to ground me in what we are collectively striving toward.

One of the interesting dichotomies to get my head around is the perspective of how we merge, or think about, what are the important issues from the perspective of family leaders—a cohort of individuals that are very educated about the system and how to navigate it, and have a clear vision of where they want it to go—with a family that is concerned because their child didn't get the correct medication at a certain time.

BLOOM: What are common risk issues?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: There's a lot around informed consent. Parents saying something wasn't explained in a way that they understood, or that resonated for them. When there's a complex family dynamic, there might be two parents who have varying custody arrangements, and one wants to go one way and the other disagrees.

There are concerns about timely access to services or delays in treatment. With all risk cases, I partner closely with clinical teams, Client and Family Integrated Care and Bioethics together with the client and family to come to a mutual resolution.

BLOOM: How does your firsthand experience with a medical error help in these discussions?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: I believe it helps me empathize a little differently. It's not something I would ever say. I would never use the words 'I know what you're going through,' because clearly I don't. Every experience is different. But in the back of my mind, I can call up some of those feelings and emotions that I experienced, and my family experienced, which can help me relate to what a family is feeling.

BLOOM: What have you learned from families?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: I've learned so much, I don't even know where to start. One of the things I've appreciated the most about working here is the opportunity to interact with patients and families and family leaders. It's helped me to come back to that true sense of why I want to do what I'm doing, and why I'm committed. I want to promote optimal experiences for patients and families and when I get to have conversations with them, it grounds me and makes why I've started on this journey more tangible.

BLOOM: If you could change one thing about children's rehab, what would it be?

Laura Oxenham-Murphy: I think making the system easier to navigator for our clients and families. So getting certain services doesn't require being connected to the right people and knowing the right questions to ask. If there weren't gatekeepers, and people could just come and learn about different services that were available. If the solutions were simple, we would have implemented them.

Also, from a health equity perspective, I've been thinking a lot about how we ensure our services are meeting the cultural needs of the diverse population we're meant to serve. I credit Aman Sium with helping me understand this better than I had previously. 

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Racism and ableism stack up against black moms, study finds

By Louise Kinross

Last month York University researcher Nazilla Khanlou presented results on a study of black mothers with children with developmental disabilities at the Racialized Maternal Health Conference in Toronto. Her team interviewed seven black mothers and three service providers to learn about the challenges the mothers faced and how these barriers influenced their own health. BLOOM did an interview, by e-mail, with Nazilla and two of her co-researchers—Luz Maria Vasquez and Attia Khan.

BLOOM: Why was the study needed?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: According to the literature, racialized mothers of children with developmental disabilities bear a disproportionate burden of stress, illness and health inequities. They are triply marginalized due to factors related to their Black, Latino, Asian or Indigenous backgrounds; their gender; and because they are the main caregiver for their family. Studies associate these factors with poor health outcomes for mothers.

The study was needed because our programs to promote the health and wellbeing of women do not consider the specific experiences and needs of racialized mothers of children with developmental disabilities. Based on our previous studies, we discovered there was a need to reach out to this population to hear their specific perspectives on how society and institutions can support their wellbeing.

BLOOM: How did you define racialized mothers in the study? Were they all immigrant mothers?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: We used the term ‘racialized’ to recognize the existence of power imbalances among the population that favour certain groups in our society and disadvantage other segments of the population. Some racialized mothers are immigrants, and others are Canadian.

BLOOM: What kind of questions did you ask in the interviews?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: Some examples:

-What is ‘racism’ to you?

-What does a health-care provider or social-service provider need to know about your experiences with racism, and other barriers, to more effectively meet your needs?

-Who do you think can help you to do the things you want to do? (e.g. agencies, family, partner, friends)?

BLOOM: What were the key findings?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: In this study we learned that the challenges of mothering children and youth with developmental disabilities increase when mothers are racialized. The added challenges of mothering a child with a developmental disability included the need to provide care around-the-clock, perhaps over a lifetime; financial difficulties; social stigma; being blamed for their child's disability; and lack of social support. On top of that, mothers needed to work extra hard to protect their children from racism and discrimination. 

BLOOM: It sounds like the first barrier they experience is the challenge of getting what their child with disability needs. And the second barrier is the racism they experience in the medical system and the community. Also, I noticed in your study that mothers felt stigmatized by their own families.

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: Mothers referred to the issue of service access and utilization. They felt they weren't treated equally, because of race, in learning about school and health-care resources. They felt service providers didn't give them adequate information. Some mothers felt service providers were intentionally unhelpful, or were saving those supports for other families.

One said: 'We will not have access to the same services, even the developmental services...you see how they treat the white people different than how they treat the black people. They don't give you the information that's available.'

In regards to their families, some mothers highlighted a lack of support and understanding about the specific needs of their children with developmental disabilities. They also felt socially isolated from their families.

BLOOM: I thought it was interesting that five of the seven mothers interviewed were single. Would we expect this in another population of mothers raising kids with developmental disabilities?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: First of all, it’s important to highlight that there is stigma and stereotyping attached to marital status. In light of this, we, as researchers, don’t make assumptions about marital status among the different populations we study. In the context of our study, we understand marital status as an important factor affecting mothers’ health-promotion experiences.

As the mothers explained, lack of support from family members (including partners, husbands, mothers and siblings) is a key social determinant of their and their children’s health and wellbeing. This lack of support intersects with other determinants, such as employment, time, and other resources.

BLOOM: What were the strengths you identified in these moms?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: Mothers discussed these strategies they use to cope with racism and discrimination in the context of raising their children:

-They teach their children about the reality of racism and how they have to work ‘twice as hard’ as non-racialized individuals.

-They practise and teach key values to their children like tolerance, respect and understanding. As one mother said: 'I raise my child to respect everybody, because I believe racism starts in somebody's house.'

BLOOM: What did the mothers suggest would help professionals provide better care?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: A key suggestion was the need for service providers to be educated about the implications of racism in the lives of the populations they serve.

Service providers should be taught, as part of their professional development, the role that racism plays in limiting health promotion opportunities; that racism intersects with other social determinants of health, such as socioeconomic opportunities; and that stigma and discrimination are part of the everyday experiences of racialized mothers and their children.

In sum, service providers need to understand the negative impact that racism has in the lives of the mothers. Service providers need to be proactive and critical about how their own activities may be directly or indirectly reproducing discrimination or racism.

Mothers also suggested we need more service providers with diverse backgrounds; more information about services; more programs and services; and a hotline to support mothers.

BLOOM: You also interviewed three professionals who work with the black community. Were they seeing similar things with their clients that the mothers talked about?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: The service providers we interviewed, who were of racialized backgrounds, agreed that racism exists in our society. But often racism is subtle, they said. People don’t outwardly say things, but hold strong beliefs that cause them to treat other people unfairly. Those on the receiving end may not call it racism, but talk about being disrespected or feeling insulted or shunned.

The service providers felt that racism was seen more in public places, like grocery stores and malls, but was less commonly experienced in health care. They believed that lack of socioeconomic resources—such as employment and family support—as well as language barriers, were obstacles to care, or negatively impacted the mothers’ health.

They noted that people are served on first-come first-serve basis, so people who are persistent receive the support they need. They felt diversity in the backgrounds of staff and volunteers and in program activities would help mothers feel welcome and included, and that they are treated fairly. Service providers said that they, and their colleagues, would not treat one person in line differently from another person.

BLOOM: What are next steps for this research?

To transfer our knowledge, including:

-to inform equity-based health-promotion practice policy for racialized mothers of children, youth and young adults with developmental disabilities

-to include on our website an information brief in plain language and one on video. Both will outline the health-promotion framework, and its application to racialized mothers, and other strategies will be recommended.

-to continue to disseminate findings across various venues. For example, we recently presented at the Racialized Maternal Health Conference, and at the LaMarsh Centre for Children and Youth speakers series. We will be presenting a poster at the upcoming Ontario Shores Annual Mental Health Conference.

BLOOM: If a professional takes one thing from this study, what should it be?

Nazilla, Luz, Attia: They need to reflect on how much they know about racism, and to acknowledge that racialization and racism impacts mothers’ wellbeing through their intersections with gender, privilege and power. Furthermore, they need to be critical about the assumptions or prejudices that inform their own everyday practices, and how they may negatively impact on the racialized populations they serve. Finally, service providers need to be proactive in terms of openly addressing discrimination and racism in the settings where they work.

Service providers told us that one size does not fit all. Programs that don’t really connect or resonate with the community that they’re serving are less likely to succeed. They also believed that programs need to be tailored to specific community needs. For example, they suggested dedicated programs for people who are new to Canada versus people who are born and raised in Canada.

Please watch this fabulous video about the York University study, which was funded by Women's College Hospital's The $15K Challenge. Nazilla holds the Women's Health Research Chair in Mental Health. You can follow her @YorkUOWHC. 

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'I'd like to see siblings treated more like patients'

By Louise Kinross

Victoria Rombos has worked in Holland Bloorview’s Ronald McDonald playroom as an early childhood studies student, then volunteer, and now staff member. But her connection with Holland Bloorview goes way back. Victoria’s younger sister Chrysoula, 19, developed a seizure disorder after having cataract surgery as a toddler. "It was a side effect of the surgery, but I only just found that out," Victoria says. "I thought I knew the story, but I keep finding out more." As a big sister, Victoria is very involved in Chrysoula’s life, so it's fitting that she's spearheading Holland Bloorview's new Sibling Support Program.

BLOOM: How did you get into this field? 

Victoria Rombos: It was because of my sister, mostly. 

BLOOM: How would you describe her?

Victoria Rombos: I describe her as sassy. She has an intellectual disability and uses a wheelchair and is non-verbal. We’re not entirely sure how much she understands, but I think she understands a lot more than people think. She’ll laugh at things, or pretend to be asleep and then pop open her eyes. She likes music. The Wheels on the Bus was always her song. I get her to play games on the iPad where she touches things and they change colours. I try to paint her nails sometimes, but she moves around too much. Recently she had a three-month stay at Sunnybrook due to pneumonia.

BLOOM: How have you found the move to the adult system?

Victoria Rombos: My sister is very small, so they were taxiing child-sized equipment back and forth from SickKids. Most of the nurses at Sunnybrook hadn’t encountered people with disability. They really didn’t have a sense of her needs, and my mom was going through the complaint department constantly. Now my sister has a trache, which has been a real learning experience.

BLOOM: Does your sister have home nursing at night?

Victoria Rombos: Until recently, she only had 12 night nursing hours a week, and my mom had to do everything else at night. We were just given an increase to 24 night hours a week.

BLOOM: That’s still a huge amount of night hours that your mom needs to do. What was it like growing up with a sister with pretty complex needs?

Victoria Rombos: It was really interesting. I only felt super different sometimes. The public school I went to had the Wayne Avenue preschool in it, so Chrysoula went there when I was in Grade 2. I remember when I asked the principal why my sister’s birthday wasn’t included in the announcements, like my birthday was. I used to like pulling the wagons with the kids in the preschool and I would get my friends to come and help. Since then, Chrysoula has gone to a segregated school, which works best for her.

I definitely feel isolated from other people sometimes, that I've had experiences that are different from my peers. I feel I would have benefited from knowing there were other kids who had a sib like me. In 2016, I sat on Holland Bloorview’s sibling panel. It was the first thing I’d done as a sib. I remember talking with Michelle Char, who was also on the panel, and being so surprised that she got it. She knew what a suction machine is.

When I was younger, I thought my parents liked my sister better than me because they spent more time with her. I was a little resentful, but I was a really empathetic kid. When kids with disabilities were picked on at my school I would tell people off. I had a lot of family support when my sister was in hospital, and would spend time with my grandmother and other relatives.

BLOOM: So your early experiences with your sister in the health care system influenced your career choice?

Victoria Rombos: Yes. I always wanted to work with kids with disabilities. Initially I wanted to be a teacher. I was interested in a special-education degree at the University of Toronto, but in my last year of high school they changed the requirements to include statistics and the highest math. That wasn’t happening! So I looked at the next closest thing, which was the program at Ryerson.

BLOOM: What ages does the early childhood studies program cover?

Victoria Rombos: Zero to five.

BLOOM: What’s a typical day like in the playroom for you?

Victoria Rombos: As it’s a drop-in, we never know what to expect. If there’s a clinic, we often get three to five kids in the morning, and then afternoons are typically a bit busier. We work with kids who are clients and their siblings.

BLOOM: What are the joys of the job?

Victoria Rombos: I like seeing the relief on parents’ faces when they realize they can take a break, or drop off all their coats. Sometimes parents will talk to me about something I can relate to, because I grew up with my sister. I like that I have that relatable sense. The kids are the most entertaining part. I like the different reactions they have, and when they ask lots of questions, or tell you about their favourite movie or what they've done that day.

BLOOM: What is the greatest challenge?

Victoria Rombos: Sometimes kids will ask a lot of questions of other kids who have disabilities, but without a filter. Sometimes we need to reroute those questions.

BLOOM: You’re running a new support program we offer for siblings aged seven to 18. How does it work?

Victoria Rombos: The sibling program shadows the family workshops that Melissa Ngo runs. They happen at the same time. We wanted to have a holistic family approach, so parents could go to the education workshop, while sibs come to our program, and patients go to the playroom.

There are official sibling programs in the U.K. and the U.S., but not in Canada. I’ve been getting inspiration from looking at those official programs, and then asking our siblings what they’d like to see.

I integrate things about siblings into relational games we play. One is called the spider’s web. One child holds a ball of yarn and says something about themselves, and if what they say relates to another child, that child puts up their hand and gets thrown the ball. It allows you to see how we’re all connected.

I may bring up a disability-related topic when I hold the yarn, like ‘my sister doesn’t talk,’ and see how many other kids relate to that. Another successful one is to ask what they like about their sibling, or what bugs them about their sibling. A child might say ‘I don’t like the sound of my brother’s CPAP machine.'

BLOOM: Why is this program important?

Victoria Rombos: If a child goes to a school that doesn’t have a lot of students with disabilities, or goes to a different school from their brother or sister, it’s important to meet other kids like them, and feel less isolated. Some kids may need to vent about something they feel is unfair in their family, and find another sibling who feels that way. It helps children feel less alone.

BLOOM: What do you think is most misunderstood about siblings?

Victoria Rombos: Even now, there’s a lot of stuff my friends don’t get. They may talk about the future when their siblings will have kids. My sister won’t have children, and it’s not in a bad way, but it’s a newer thing I’m dealing with. We really need to destigmatize disabilities. Even some people in my family will say hi to my sister, but they don’t know how to really approach her. When you have a disability and you can’t speak, a lot of people discount you. They need to realize there’s a personality there.

BLOOM: Do you currently live at home with your sister?

Victoria Rombos: Yes. I’m not in a super rush to move out. I feel like I’m needed there. I would rather stay home and help my parents. Chrysoula was going to school five days a week, but since she got her trache, she needs a nurse. So my mom was told she can only go to school three days a week.

BLOOM: That’s terrible! There seem to be so many situations we’re hearing about where children with disabilities are not able to attend regular school hours, for all kinds of reasons.

Victoria Rombos: It’s not a good situation for my sister or my mother.

BLOOM: If you could change one thing about how we support siblings, what would it be?

Victoria Rombos: Siblings tend to fall into a gap. We have different programs and events for parents. I’d like to see siblings treated more like patients, like they’re important, and not a side thing. We go through a lot of emotional stuff. I remember the first time they intubated my sister and how upset and emotional my parents became. That's when I realized how serious this was, compared to her other hospitalizations. When you see that it’s traumatizing.

To find out more about Holland Bloorview's Sibling Support Program, e-mail siblingsupport@hollandbloorview.ca. To refer your child, fill out this form. The program is funded through our foundation's No Boundaries program. 

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