Saturday, August 20, 2011

When Somebody Loved Me

I know I mentioned that Ben loves Jessie, the cowgirl from Toy Story.

If left to his own devices, he'll surf the internet to listen to her soulful song, When Somebody Loved Me, over and over and over again.

We may hear it in English, or Spanish or Portuguese.

He will proclaim his love for Jessie (I love Jessie, he'll sign).

Why was Ben so drawn to this song, I wondered. But listening to the lyrics, I think it's somewhat of  a metaphor for Ben's life.

When somebody loved me,
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together lives within my heart
And when she was sad,
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy,
So was I
When she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day
When she'd say I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten...

I wonder if, like Jessie in the song, Ben feels the ache of staying largely 'the same,' while everyone around him grows up and drifts away.

He had friends at the elementary school he went to. But they've all progressed at an amazing pace and he wasn't able to keep up.

If only Ben could live in a world where the rules were simpler and no one got left behind.


Hi Louise,

Ben is right in playing this song. I also believe that there are many youth or young adults with disabilities who feel this way, but are unable to express it in so many words, as this is part of the grieving process.

Moreover, I would also say, "Those with a greater degree of disability will experience grief sooner rather than later in life. For example, Ben is experiencing loss at seventeen, as opposed to myself whom was between 24 and 28 years of age.

This is why I propose a balance between addressing the needs of one's disability while helping them acquire the means to live a normal or fulfilling life.

Parents need to understand, "Although they are loved and adored by their children, as their kids age, they will yearn for so much more."

With this said, however, I have not only learned the difference between moderate and severe disability (when I think of mild disability, I imagine those like Aimee Mullins or Rick Hansen), but am of aware a educational and pyschological divide. For instance, parents of a child with a servere disability uses the pediatric system to solely to keep their child alive and happy. And, in turn, parents of children with moderate disabilities will use the same hospital to unsure that their child is content, but forever pushing the boundaries and breaking new ground.

Consequently, and in view of this, when these same children reach adulthood and are discharged from pediatrics, entering main stream facilities, those with severe disabilities will experence an increased fatality rate while those people with moderate disabilities will encounter rapid paralysis.

Something truly needs to be done.

Anyhow, I've had enough with talking shop for today and would love to give my friend, Ben, a gift. In fact, I have been wanting to do this for the longest time. Therefore, upon going home this evening, would you please take your son upstairs, logon to You Tube and say, "Matt wants you to hear something." Then type, "You are loved by Josh Groban." Trust me!!!