Stares at the mall

Many of you know Sue Robins as the author behind The invisible mom, one of our most read posts about social isolation among families of children with disabilities. Sue recently took a poetry class and wrote this piece, which she says is fiction, based on her experiences raising her son with Down syndrome, and stories other families like hers have shared with her. Louise

Stares at the mall

By Sue Robins

Always the caboose

He’s minding the gap

At the back of the line.

Invisible but visible

Is a puzzling way to be

Stared at, all but ignored.

How old is he

The nurse asks his mom

He’s standing right there

A teenager, not a ghost.

I hate my face

He announces one hot July day

Sits on the bench, arms crossed, opting out of the moments.

I was asked

Many times by other moms

Do people stare at you in the mall?

Why yes, yes they do.

First they stare at my boy.

Then they stare at me.

They finish up by staring at my boy again. 

I see their heads turn

To and fro

As if we are a tennis match.

Marked by pity, not love.

This is how you stop making eye contact

Begin walking with your head down

And don’t leave the house.

We are not contagious we cry

But nobody hears us.

Instead they shush us to be quiet

And demand that he inspires them.

Our circle becomes smaller and smaller

Until we collapse into the tiny dot of our four walls

Passing the time by gently and together

Placing a fence of sticks

Against our respective hearts.