Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Instead of changing her child, a mother changes herself

By Louise Kinross

Superbabies Don't Cry is a brilliant essay about how the birth of a child with a chromosome deletion upended one mother's ideas about perfection and our ability to control life.

It's written by Heather Kirn Lanier. She blogs about her daughter Fiona (centre above) at Star In Her Eye

Here are some of my favourite lines. "With my woo-woo belief that the mind could control the body, I'd pushed disability away. I'd done this by subscribing to the belief that disability always had an avoidable cause. I'd believed I could control the body because I could not stomach the truth: that the body is fragile, ephemeral."

"If you buy into a false narrative that the body is controllable, that illness can always be prevented, then my proxy you are left with a disturbing, damaging, erroneous conclusion: the belief that a person's disability is their fault."

"The world is a terrifying place. We manage it by believing we can control it. And when it hasn't been controlledwhen it doesn't bend to our willswe either look for something to blame, or we surrender."

Heather's essay is about how she's let go of trying to change her daughter Fiona's disabilities. Instead, she opens her mind to the idea that fragility and pain are essential parts of humanity. This is a must-read.


Thanks for pointing out this essay – it's superb!