Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Is 'normal' overrated?

This post by parent blogger Heather Hamilton really made me sit up and think: Finding 'normal'.

In it, Heather, who lost her son Zack, 3, earlier this year, writes about how the world of 'normal' she once longed for is not what she expected it to be (now that she finds herself raising two typical boys):

"In fact, the 'normal' life that I had been wishing for, is now here and the grass is not as green as I had expected. In fact, it's not fulfilling in the same way at all. While I don't have the added stress, anxiety and even work of three kids and one with special needs, I also don't have those tremendous joys that life used to offer me. The life that I had sought after for over 3 years, is now the life I am living and it is not at all the life I was meant to live. I miss the life that I was given...the depth that my life had."

It made me think about how we parents can get caught up in wishing our children's lives were different -- 'normal' -- not realizing that perhaps it is the unique path our children with disabilities are on that makes life so rich.

Do check out Heather's piece. I'm so grateful she shared it with us! Louise


Thankyou for sharing this.. I have meandered through your blog. Very well written - and often moving xx

Please check mine out - I'm writing a book and I think you may know some people that might wish to contribute. Thankyou so so much for your time xx Trine


So True!

I remember after Savannah died how different life became. I no longer had to pack the car with her huge blue chair and wagon, crush and mix her many medications or care for her in the so many ways a special needs child demands.

It was like my whole identity and meaning had disappeared. Not only did I miss her all consuming love that she gave just with her smiles and her eyes but I missed the lessons she taught me.

What is 'normal' anyway? I think as you have posted, these special children teach us so much. And while I adore our healthy daughter I do miss my life caring for Savannah.

Its also easy to become bogged down in a 'normal' world with trivial things...Savannah, each day gave me the gift of appreciating every little thing...even just a giggle from her would make my day.

I am honored and privaleged to have been part of a very special world that taught me so much, and I would turn back the clock in a heart beat.

Thanks for the reminder today to appreciate!

Diana x