tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post7291422919710173418..comments2024-02-25T10:24:30.868-05:00Comments on Special needs disability parenting BLOOM: 'They are each so valuable and perfect'BLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-12737273451187727912013-10-15T22:16:23.595-04:002013-10-15T22:16:23.595-04:00Anonymous,
I have to admit your comment made me s...Anonymous,<br /><br />I have to admit your comment made me sad as there is so much more to the picture than what you are being critical of, and a lot of what you say is actually incorrect. Yes, I am an international volunteer living her for 1 year (at least) but I am the closest thing to a Mom they have ever had and I take that role seriously. Just as we have foster programs back home for children whose families are unable or unwilling to care for them, that is what I do and I strive to raise the kids in a family setting which has so many benefits over an institution. Like most foster care programs it is not a longterm solution and we are taking steps for the kids to be adopted. I am leaving the country for a few weeks’ vacation and then am coming back to my kids and don’t yet have a return ticket to Canada. If I felt it was hurting them, I wouldn’t be here. I live with my kids and with Indian staff; a nurse and 2 ayahs (caretakers) who play a large role in raising the kids. After having us model loving relationships, they are beginning to overcome their previous cultural stereotypes of the worth of these kids, and we are starting to see genuine relationships between the Indian staff and the kids, which is a beautiful thing. <br /><br />I WISH that people like me weren’t needed. The reality is that before I got here, many of my kids lied in bed all day. Several of them have suffered brain damage from the effects of neglect and lack of stimulation in their early years. Being here, I am able to train the staff on how to work with them, and give them an example of how to love these kids and show them respect and dignity. Since I have been here, we have seen complete transformations in the kids that wouldn’t have happened if they had still been lying in bed. Yes, it will be hard on them when the time eventually comes for me to leave. I don’t doubt that. But love is better than no love. Kids need to be loved and it’s unfortunate that this is the best way to do that given these circumstances. <br /><br />I wonder if you have ever been to an orphanage for children with special needs? I can’t imagine that you would make these comments if you have. Praying for more people to step up, ask questions rather than judging, and get involved in helping the kids have the best futures they can. Thanks! <br /><br />NikkiNikkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02177713668325278917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-84789746656737233302013-10-15T20:37:40.351-04:002013-10-15T20:37:40.351-04:00Dear Anonymous: Thank you for your message.
I bel...Dear Anonymous: Thank you for your message.<br /><br />I believe your concern is seriously misguided.<br /><br />The reason organizations like Sarah's Covenant House exist is that the alternative is the Indian state-run orphanage where the children first went: the orphanage where they lay alone in their beds developing multiple disabilities (disabilities they were NOT born with) because they weren't stimulated.<br /><br />I'm glad you brought up Nikki's website. I hadn't looked at it closely, but you seem to have missed that most of the staff at Sarah's Covenant House (the nannies as they are called) are LOCAL Indian women: http://www.schindia.com/meet-us/staff/<br /><br />Volunteers like Nikki are NOT taking jobs away from the local economy.<br /><br />Further, the "culture" that you feel these children are being deprived of is the one that results in them being harrassed in the park and abandoned at birth -- the one that says their disabilities make them worthless.<br /><br />I only had to read the top sentence on Nikki's home page to see that she's committed to living there for a year (not 6 months, as you say).<br /><br />I have some personal experience with orphanages in developing countries as I have two adopted Haitian children. Like Sarah's Covenant House, the orphanage they were in was run and financed by a US Christian group. The staff were all local Haitians. There were always 2-3 North American volunteers (like Nikki), who came, usually initially for a few months, but often ended up staying for years because they were so committed.<br /><br />While in Haiti we visited the orphanage for disabled children. It happened to be a custom-built, gorgeous facility run by an American Christian group. We took some therapy supplies from Holland Bloorview.<br /><br />Unfortunately, these children were unable to EVER leave the facility -- they could not be "seen" outside because they were viewed as evil spirits. Their very culture had abandoned them. <br /><br />Please do not pontificate about how things should be in a fairy-tale world. I am grateful that kind-hearted people like Nikki (who is also trained to work with children with developmental disabilities and has hands-on experience with March of Dimes and Holland Bloorview) are willing to jump in to a very challenging situation -- AS IT IS -- and make a difference.<br /><br />I see the joy in the pictures we shared here, and it is real. <br /><br />Instead of launching criticism at the orphanage and Nikki, please ask Indians why they don't make it a priority to care for (and adopt) abandoned children -- particularly DISABLED children. The real question is why those children were allowed to languish for years all alone in their beds.<br /><br />Louise<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br />BLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-72170092016639982032013-10-15T18:17:21.192-04:002013-10-15T18:17:21.192-04:00I have some concerns about this piece. This young...I have some concerns about this piece. This young woman is not, in fact, the parent of these children -- reviewing her blog, it becomes clear she is an international volunteer currently spending less than six months volunteering in India. It appears this charity makes the rather irresponsible choice to have children primarily cared for by international volunteers who pose as parents but then return home to the west after less than a year, abandoning their "children". For emotionally vulnerable and neglected children to be cared for intensively by an international volunteer, form a bond with them, and then be abandoned after six months by that volunteer is extremely emotionally and psychologically damaging. This phenomenon is disturbingly common and quite well documented:<br /><br />http://www.replace-campaign.org/volunteering.html<br />http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/nov/14/orphans-cambodia-aids-holidays-madonna<br />http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10209598/Orphanage-volunteering-part-of-the-problem.html<br /><br />That these especially vulnerable children with disabilities are being subjected to this kind of care is very troubling to me -- I am shocked that this young woman refers to herself as the "mother" of these kids when she'll be leaving the country in just a few months!<br /><br />Especially as this young woman is not the parent of these children in any sense, I also find her free use of their photos and stories on her blog quite troubling and exploitative. She should not have permission to do this -- and if she wasn't in a developing country she would NEVER be allowed to do so. Most larger and well-established international charitable organizations also have policies governing volunteers and photographs which would never allow this kind of blog post.<br /><br />"Sarah's Covenant Homes" also appears to be an evangelical Christian organization. One of the other (young, white, American) volunteers writes: <br />"I love these boys so much and my desire is for them to better understand their identity in Christ and their worth and value." I fear that evangelism may be one of the reasons this organization chooses to have international Christian volunteers participate in caring for children under their protection. This is especially strange in a cultural context where nearly 100% of these children would be from Muslim or Hindu families or origin. How does it help these children to be cared for by adults who don't share their language, culture or faith background, and are depriving them of their cultural and faith traditions and heritage?<br /><br />These young international women are also taking jobs which should be given -- and paid -- to Indian nationals, in a context where well-paid, safe and rewarding professional opportunities for Indian women are scarce. These children should be cared for by skilled, professionally trained Indian national staff who can make a long term professional commitment to their employer.<br /><br />This young foreign volunteer obviously means well and writes charmingly about these children -- I am not accusing her personally of sinister motives, but I question how critically her employer is thinking about the well-being of its charges.<br /><br />I write as someone who works professionally in the international development sector and has lived and worked extensively in India with charitable organizations that serve vulnerable children and adults in appropriate and respectful ways. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-12516169812828848072013-10-14T23:59:41.410-04:002013-10-14T23:59:41.410-04:00It warms my heart to read this story. Just look ho...It warms my heart to read this story. Just look how happy those children are. You are a true angel.Lucas' Momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-36742809762810944692013-10-14T09:53:25.632-04:002013-10-14T09:53:25.632-04:00What an amazing young woman you are! I am happy to...What an amazing young woman you are! I am happy to see someone so giving of themselves so others can live a life just a little bit better, a life of loveCSIAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00804639122072895534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-18193754934566010042013-10-13T23:54:48.820-04:002013-10-13T23:54:48.820-04:00Are you real or a strange and beautiful woman from...Are you real or a strange and beautiful woman from another planet? What beautiful things you are doing with your life -- I, too, hope for stable homes and more love for these children you are so generously fostering. I feel like I should say thank you for the world!Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-74175684867763699552013-10-13T22:32:28.501-04:002013-10-13T22:32:28.501-04:00A heartwarming story... God gives you strength!A heartwarming story... God gives you strength!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-50838310261187620692013-10-13T21:37:26.773-04:002013-10-13T21:37:26.773-04:00What an amazing young woman you are. God bless you...What an amazing young woman you are. God bless you and your new family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com