tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post8064738807495769114..comments2024-02-25T10:24:30.868-05:00Comments on Special needs disability parenting BLOOM: Friends? Where?BLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-11432389798463800342012-05-25T16:01:57.703-04:002012-05-25T16:01:57.703-04:00Another comment that didn't show up on blogger...Another comment that didn't show up on blogger:<br /><br />DSW has left a new comment on your post "Friends? Where?": <br /><br />Hi Cheryl,<br /><br />I am a respite worker in Toronto, and actually provide some support to Louise's son. I sometimes bore my friends with talking about different disabilities, most of them are good at listening or conversation back. Some aren't. But, that was a snarky comment to make about you, just because she could.<br /><br />I worked at Bloorview for a couple years, so I am sure we've passed each other in the halls. You sound great and super friendly. Feel free to contact me if you are looking for a friend or worker.<br /><br />majorie.rwdk@gmail.comBLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-46341394724136432432012-05-25T13:44:09.440-04:002012-05-25T13:44:09.440-04:00Hi Cheryl,
My name is Laura and I live in Toronto...Hi Cheryl,<br /><br />My name is Laura and I live in Toronto and have a special needs son and two other kids. I'd be delighted to have lunch or a coffee with you and you can talk about CP as much as you like-or anything else. I love meeting new people. <br /><br />laurarosencohen@gmail.com<br /><br />See! This blog post was just like a classified ad for special needs Mom friends. It worked. Maybe even better than an ad. Feeling isolated totally sucks. Chin up. There are lots of great people around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-92001350725771402032012-04-25T12:50:45.615-04:002012-04-25T12:50:45.615-04:00I think I feel isolated and it's hard to make ...I think I feel isolated and it's hard to make friends as well... and I don't even have a special needs kids. Maybe it's just me, and I like to just stick to myself. <br /><br />But I think you are a wonderful friend Cheryl, and a wonderful mother to your kids.Alisonhttp://beingalison.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-18359965255047561912012-04-20T09:38:06.617-04:002012-04-20T09:38:06.617-04:00Cheryl - In the 3.5 years since your daughter with...Cheryl - In the 3.5 years since your daughter with CP was born, have you returned (most) calls and emails from your friends? Reciprocated invitations (when things at your end calmed down a bit)? Made any kind of effort to talk about stuff that didn't pertain to your kiss once in a while?<br /><br />Friendships are kinda like bank accounts -- you've got lots of goodwill built up, you can make withdrawals, etc. If all you've done for 3.5 years is make withdrawal after withdrawal after withdrawal, I'm not surprised your friends are distancing themselves from you. The friendship bank is empty. 3.5 yrs is a really really really long time to take people for granted -- especially since those folks likely had a parent or child get sick or they lost their job or had a kid or some other significant event that you completely failed to acknowledge.Kayleenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-3439052743241652752012-04-16T14:16:54.802-04:002012-04-16T14:16:54.802-04:00Dear Cheryl,
I wholeheartedly apologize for not b...Dear Cheryl,<br /><br />I wholeheartedly apologize for not being able to respond to your post sooner, for I remain deeply touched by your actions last Tuesday evening, as you so graciously approached, to thank me for my thoughts after listening to Donna Thompson speak.<br /><br />The issue of friendship, in relation to disability, will affect both mother and child, and possibly the family unit as a whole.<br /><br />Furthermore, it is important to keep in mind that you and your daughter will experience isolation and exclusion in different periods of your life. For instance, your experience with naming Jillian's godmother is not uncommon, as my parents were asked by my godfather, in a drunken stupor, "What kind of sex are you two having?" There were also those who did not want to babysit, as they wished to distance themselves from a disabled child, not knowing what to expect. Thus, the mere appearance or stigma of disability can test a friendship at any age.<br /><br />However, we must remember that although the concepts of inclusion and acceptance are not shared by all, we are not powerless or left without hope. For, you will be able to shield Jillian throughout much of her childhood and early teens, but it's how you respond to the injustice posed against you which will shape her character in the years to come.<br /><br />Thus, you consequently bare the responsibility, as your daughter will reveal, "to put your best foot forward, even in the most difficult of circumstances." For, was it not President Barack Obama who said, "If you unclench your fist, I will extend my hand."<br /><br />Nonetheless, I also understand that I may be asking for more than you are able or willing to give at the present time--you're going through so much right now--and you may need to hear something which is a little closer to home. So, here it goes: "When all else fails, we can walk away from certain friendships. I've done it, and so will Jillian. But, you must remember, or consider, all of what I shared last Tuesday evening, when I said, "I never wanted my parents, especially my mom, to suffer or sacrifice her life for me."<br /><br />Hence, there will be times when you'll want nothing more than to hold Jillian in your arms and never let her go. And, there will be other times when you'll need a break and want nothing to do with disability. This, in no way, shape or form, doesn't mean that you don't love your child. Every parent needs to "vent and relax", whether their kid has a disability or not. When taking some time for yourself, Jillian will probably say, "Okay, Mommy, see you later. I love you!!!"<br /><br />Please, may we never stop turning disability into possibility, for both mother and child.<br /><br />Yours truly,<br /><br />Matt Kamaratakis<br /><br /><br /> ,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-3991818664667715992012-04-14T18:19:49.412-04:002012-04-14T18:19:49.412-04:00I can relate to the loss of friendships, and the c...I can relate to the loss of friendships, and the changes in friendships: pretty much everyone has faded away since I had a brain tumor and became disabled. I think it's been harder on my kids than it has been on me, in the sense that it is just so hard for me to see that they are hurting. <br /><br />Friendship is a two way street of course, but when we have done the best we can on our end, and others are making it clear by their actions or words that they are no longer interested, well, it is better, I have found, to let them go.ellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16405706347896531257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-70849217236147157692012-04-12T21:50:45.600-04:002012-04-12T21:50:45.600-04:00Thank you for sharing such a beautiful, honest pos...Thank you for sharing such a beautiful, honest post. I agree with GB's mom above--quality is more important than quantity. I'm also glad that you have a community like Holland Bloorview to be a part of--it sounds like an amazing place! I wonder if there is something like it around where I live :).jenniferhttp://www.earlybirdies.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-68822450274369746902012-04-12T15:08:19.639-04:002012-04-12T15:08:19.639-04:00I am glad you met some fabulous people at Holland ...I am glad you met some fabulous people at Holland Bloorview. Most of my friends have children with special needs similar to my children. Remember quality is more important then quantity when it comes to friendship.<br /><br />PS My children's Godparents were all chosen from family.GB's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.com