tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post5026032920002510908..comments2024-02-25T10:24:30.868-05:00Comments on Special needs disability parenting BLOOM: We had the same ache in our heartsBLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-38496167367119584172011-11-29T12:18:09.663-05:002011-11-29T12:18:09.663-05:00Louise, I don't normally comment but this post...Louise, I don't normally comment but this post was so strikingly similar to my own experience I had to write. My husband and I had practically the same argument and same scenario regarding the pneumonia and mask, I feeling the way you described. We also, over the last 8.5 years have gone in the same direction, him mostly in denial and myself taking on every therapy and new diagnosis as a call to action. My husband had to leave work due to injury last year and has now been taking on more responsibility with respect to our sons care and appts and he is finally coming to terms with all I have taken on over the years. I think it is a common occurence for men to want it to "go away" in some respects or not deal with it. My husband describes his denial as his way of dealing with the fact that he couldn't protect our son from all that he had to go through and he wanted more than anything to take away his pain and felt helpless when he couldn't. Thank you for writing this post, it rang true to me in so many ways.colettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-65101228379408349682011-11-11T13:23:36.291-05:002011-11-11T13:23:36.291-05:00Very interesting!
Obviously we are all different,...Very interesting!<br /><br />Obviously we are all different, as men and women, and just as individuals. But I do think it's important for us to try and know the details of our children's lives, especially our children with special needs.<br /><br />Doctors appointments are a struggle at times, and I am very glad that my husband has taken Benjamin on several occasions so he can be involved and know more of what Benjamin and I go through.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11387011004798871747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-47107849163830618852011-11-10T18:49:14.351-05:002011-11-10T18:49:14.351-05:00Thank you for this post. I have had many of the s...Thank you for this post. I have had many of the same feelings and resentments towards my husband because our roles are like yours. It's good to remember that we are feeling the same pain, only differently.Accidental Experthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12076925529372019604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-65633361398655903812011-11-10T13:45:50.370-05:002011-11-10T13:45:50.370-05:00Wow - I can't believe all the points of simila...Wow - I can't believe all the points of similarity with my experience! I am thinking that I have gotten so consumed with my daughter's care precisely because my husband was so easy-going about it. And he was so uninvolved (relatively) because he could be, because I was doing all the hard stuff, plus all the anxiety and overwhelmedness that went with it. At one point I got so overstressed and angry that I exclaimed to him, "You don't know jack!" about her IEP, therapies, medical appts., etc. He took great offense. But he made it his mission to prove me wrong. To his credit, he caught up with the 7 years' worth of stuff he had missed, being the "fun" parent that came home at the end of day. This was so hard for me to accept at first - he was encroaching on my territory, my expertise... but really, wasn't that what I had wanted/needed from the beginning?<br />Just this fall, my mom passed away, followed 3 days later by my grandma (her mom) , followed the next week by a brother's cancer diagnosis and 19-hour (!) surgery, followed immediately by my other brother's cancer recurrence... an unbelievable series of tragic events. Because my husband had gotten up-to-date with our daughter's needs, he was able to carry on with her while I tended to my family of origin, and for the first time EVER, I was able to let go of the special needs as the highest priority. What a surprising sense of relief that was! <br />And, just this morning, I attended the annual IEP update (totally unprepared, as I have been out of town much of the school year so far), and it was OK. He took all the notes and asked all the appropriate questions. After 9 years, we have been able to forgive each other. I think we are a team again.Kate Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10553553874360381779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-18575900887937752292011-11-10T12:56:39.469-05:002011-11-10T12:56:39.469-05:00This was difficult for me to read. Like opening a ...This was difficult for me to read. Like opening a Pandora's box. Powerful.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.com