tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post1684714335732406291..comments2024-02-25T10:24:30.868-05:00Comments on Special needs disability parenting BLOOM: A letter to Mrs. ZhuangBLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-34784339256469226232014-05-23T14:23:40.621-04:002014-05-23T14:23:40.621-04:00I met with a group of moms with disabled children ...I met with a group of moms with disabled children like myself. It was sad to learn that for many of these moms, in their culture there is a strong blame placed on the mother as being responsible in having a "less than normal" child. In all cases it was the mother who was blamed. so for these moms, there is a huge amount of guilt put on them. <br />I suspect that, by suing the doctors, it has in some way alleviated some sense of the guilt, as the mother would then convince herself that she wouldn't be responsible for bringing into the world a "less than perfect child" as she would have aborted the child instead. Unfortunately the shame brought onto these families by their culture is a very strong one. I am thankful that I don't have this sense of guilt or shame in my own culture. It is a difficult cross to bear. Simply Mom.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05792966946474704773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-49344585382406981302014-05-02T11:50:24.269-04:002014-05-02T11:50:24.269-04:00The air of judgment on this blog is palpable. Whil...The air of judgment on this blog is palpable. While you guys are indignantly claiming Mrs Zhuang is not "considering the wider social implications" of her lawsuit, all of you are only thinking of your feelings, your family, and your children as well. Maybe you should all look into the living conditions of new immigrants. For a family like Mrs. Zhuang's, they are working low-paying jobs despite high education in their home countries, have little property and almost no support of extended families since they are all at home, plus various difficulties with new culture and language. So what if the only way out that they can see is to sue for their daughter's future upkeep? If you guys are well-off enough to hang around blogs, then start your own organization to spread awareness and offer support instead of attacking a family that has been through tumultuous times. You are no different from the vegans who get offended at people eating meat, or the "pro-lifers" that get offended that people who abort, or certain deaf parents who would not let their kids receive a cochlear implant. Raising special needs children, while admirable, is not an honour badge you can wear that gives you a pass to judge others. You are entitled to your personal choice while they are to theirs. Mrs. Zhuang's stance that she does not want a disabled child is unique to her circumstance, has nothing to do with you, and does not take away value from your child. Stop being offended and start to have more understanding and compassion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-45467113744052426572014-04-30T18:19:31.058-04:002014-04-30T18:19:31.058-04:00Ridiculous couple, ridiculous case, from a Chinese...Ridiculous couple, ridiculous case, from a Chinese' mind. However, I have to remind everyone that the couple are not the ones to blame, it is the jury and the judge who ruled that the couple should win. Stupid judge. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09080911854510472432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-51941126966928934252011-06-24T18:44:44.023-04:002011-06-24T18:44:44.023-04:00No, it's not unfair to judge her decision; it ...No, it's not unfair to judge her decision; it was calculated and she has told the world that her daughter shouldn't have been born and that her own mother doesn't want her as she is. For shame. Enough of the mollycoddling. I don't care if she feels defensive; maybe she ought to. Enough said.Say it like it isnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-34557482656400801382011-05-18T11:11:43.242-04:002011-05-18T11:11:43.242-04:00I think its a little unfair to judge this woman...I think its a little unfair to judge this woman's decision; as Amy Julia said, there are so many things we DON'T know about this case. Judgment comes across as preachy and puts this woman down. I would rather see a letter reaching out to this woman and asking her questions, instead of making statements that will automatically put her on the defensive. My two cents.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-50788243417017068172011-05-18T00:56:21.581-04:002011-05-18T00:56:21.581-04:00This is so sad. Without justifying her actions, I...This is so sad. Without justifying her actions, I think this mom was only thinking about the implications for her family and her daughter financially, and not the bigger picture of what a lawsuit might mean for others. While I read this letter, I kept thinking of the book "Handle with Care" by Jody Picoult, in which a mother of a child with osteogenisis imperfecta (brittle bone syndrome),launches a lawsuit against her OB GYN for "wrongful birth" stating that had she been offered available prenatal testing, she would have terminated the pregnancy. She loved her daughter, but wanted to ensure that she was getting her child the best care possible to meet her complex needs. I hope that this was the case in this real life example...Irenenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-51047401397790599342011-05-17T20:51:16.397-04:002011-05-17T20:51:16.397-04:00Julia, we all love our children, but the reality i...Julia, we all love our children, but the reality is that there is simply not a support structure in place now, or for the future of children with disabilities.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-89071287371314061342011-05-17T16:25:31.069-04:002011-05-17T16:25:31.069-04:00Why oh why can people not just accept that sometim...Why oh why can people not just accept that sometimes sh*t happens? That's what I feel about my situation. It's no ones fault, not mine, not my husband's, not the Doctors, No one. This is just what happened because sometimes the biggest pile of cr*p will land at your door. What is important is how you deal with it, not who you can find to sue.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16462901123299561176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-63431170197757492442011-05-17T13:36:02.238-04:002011-05-17T13:36:02.238-04:00This is just another symptom of a society that fee...This is just another symptom of a society that feels if everything does not work out perfectly it is the fault of someone else. I pray for the little girl. I hope she never learns of her mother's lawsuit.GB's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-30885977657931242182011-05-17T11:15:57.257-04:002011-05-17T11:15:57.257-04:00I have preferred to not pass judgment on people wh...I have preferred to not pass judgment on people who choose to abort a disabled fetus. It is a private choice. However...this court decision, ever so public, is dangerous in the extreme. You know where this is going, don't you, Louise. The tables will be turned. Prenatal testing will become mandatory to protect against lawsuits. Parents who choose NOT to abort will be denied services to their disabled children because of that choice. I can see the statute now: "In cases where disability was ascertained and preventable, the state shall not be responsible for long term assistance to the parents of the disabled individual." We.are.so.screwed.Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13070297384173508509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-72583418237642948542011-05-17T11:14:22.289-04:002011-05-17T11:14:22.289-04:00This is a world gone mad. I don't think of it ...This is a world gone mad. I don't think of it in any other way.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-33407926621478813092011-05-17T10:39:56.744-04:002011-05-17T10:39:56.744-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04013115624599272658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-59528555676548909372011-05-17T10:09:14.893-04:002011-05-17T10:09:14.893-04:00That's so upsetting to me too. I hate that it...That's so upsetting to me too. I hate that it devalues our children and others with disability. My daughter has a genetic disability and needs lots of extra help with everything but is so loved and enjoys life as much as any other 6 year old. I believe the world is a better place because she is here and I know my life is better with my girl. I don't understand this mothers decisions to sue but I 'm sure there is more to this story.Sherry Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17320106277509509294noreply@blogger.com