tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post1645806084781134733..comments2024-02-25T10:24:30.868-05:00Comments on Special needs disability parenting BLOOM: The blame gameBLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-34908395316438396712015-06-01T15:28:19.288-04:002015-06-01T15:28:19.288-04:00Hi Sue -- Thanks so much for your message. I guess...Hi Sue -- Thanks so much for your message. I guess when writing the piece I was thinking of "control" to mean that by doing specific behaviours to take care of yourself, you can create a "healthy" child. If you only do "A, B and C" then your child will be healthy, many of the public awareness campaigns say.<br /><br />I think in our culture that abortion (when a fetus is diagnosed with a disability) often doesn't feel like a "choice" to the parents involved. There is such a rush to judgment. I guess you're right, that from a medical perspective, abortion is one way of "controlling" disability. Have you read The Upside of Stress, which is a book I wrote about the other day? I love it because it's about how stress is linked to meaning in life, and that the absence of stress doesn't make a good life (but in our culture, if you feel anxious, you immediately question what is wrong with my life?). And that, in fact, stress can make our lives richer. It's an interesting perspective.BLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-13150773149998786112015-06-01T15:16:46.974-04:002015-06-01T15:16:46.974-04:00Thanks Elizabeth. In general I thought Andrew'...Thanks Elizabeth. In general I thought Andrew's piece was fine. Perhaps it just goes to show how sensitive parents are that the slightest suggestion that they may have done something wrong sends them over the edge!<br /><br />I hope our readers will check out your beautiful piece on the On Being public radio website http://onbeing.org/blog/hanging-by-a-thread/7623BLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilitieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06901482901008135659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-31592878282906961272015-06-01T14:14:17.210-04:002015-06-01T14:14:17.210-04:00Ah, this is a very thought-provoking piece, Louise...Ah, this is a very thought-provoking piece, Louise. I'm distraught that a piece by Andrew Solomon can cause this kind of pain. <br /><br />Just to add another layer of complexity - some of us CAN control if our children are born with a disability - and that's through prenatal testing for things like Down syndrome and Spina Bifida. And what of families who chose not to control that, either by turning down testing, or continuing with their pregnancies? <br /><br />I agree with Elizabeth - accepting difference as part of the natural human fabric is the way to go. There's no such thing as a 'perfect' child, even in typically-developing kids...in fact, the whole idea of 'perfect' does not exist. <br /><br />I've obviously got no answers, just more questions. Appreciate the chance to think more about this...<br />sue robinshttp://www.suerobins.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447392662850613354.post-62014000993991787072015-05-31T22:42:25.191-04:002015-05-31T22:42:25.191-04:00I am sorry, Louise. It's all just so hard, isn...I am sorry, Louise. It's all just so hard, isn't it. And the hard, if it goes away, inevitably returns for a visit. I guess we have to tolerate the visitor but just not listen, push them out the door, etc. <br /><br />That was a very disturbing article that Solomon wrote -- and I don't have any answers. The more I'm "in" this world of disability, the more I realize how acceptance, ever elusive or sometimes elusive, is the only way for me to "live."<br />Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.com